I spent all weekend trying to remember what I wanted to write about.I couldn’t remember for the life of me.Then, we went to the grocery store, and I saw a little boy coming out with a GIANT lollipop.EUREKA!, I remembered-- “food as a reward”.
How many moms are guilty of this?I know I am—you’re in the grocery store, your three year old is carrying on, and you promise them, candy, soda, sugary cereals WHATEVER they want, if they behave long enough for you to get the hell out of there.I’ve done this many, many times, and didn’t realize the repercussions until I had a conversation with my psychologist in training friend.
I’m by no means a psychologist, so I will explain this in my terms.Just like Pavlov’s dogs, those little brains associate the reward (I think in my case it’s chocolate, because it’s DEFINITELY my go to food when I’m down) with good behavior and feeling good.So now, as adults, the brain associates, say, a brownie, with feeling better.Feeling down?A brownie will pick you up and make you feel good again!I BELIEVE this is how we end up using food to medicate ourselves.
This is not to say that you don’t deserve a treat.Just be careful what you do to those little brains in their formative years!Reward small things, like behaving in the grocery store, with praise, I think that is much better for the self esteem than all those candy bars!
Now, onto other things…..
Lupus update:I saw the rheumatologist, wasn’t as positive as I had been hoping and playing it out on my mind, yet, not TERRIBLY negative either.I guess I was expecting to go and have them tell me it was all a big mistake.Basically, I have to go for more testing to see what’s up with my internal organs.If they are ok, they will just watch me, if I have slowed and/or loss of kidney function, I will have to do a round of chemotherapy.
The thing with doctors is, I think they are so used to telling people bad news, that it just rolls off their tongue like, it’s nothing.Don’t get me wrong, the Dr. was VERY nice, VERY thorough, and calm.The head of UMDNJ’s rheumatology dept. was named the “best doctor in the NYC metro area”, so I’m in pretty good hands.However, the word “chemo” just came out of her mouth, like it wasn’t a huge deal. Even if it’s just for superficial reasons (losing my hair), I’m LESS than thrilled about possibly having chemo.I’m taking lots of vitamins and supplements to ease the joint/muscle/skin pain and try and boost my energy level.The only “drug” I’m currently taking is Naprosyn (Aleve), to also help with the joint pain.Please keep your fingers crossed for me, that this is the extent of what it will be.
If you’d like to learn more about lupus, you can go to www.lupus.org